As previously mentioned, we are now with a new clinic. They required a two-hour orientation today. I tried to get out of it. I feel like a veteran. What did I need with a two-hour dissertation on injections in the middle of the work day?
We checked in on the third floor. When it was time, the nurse asked us to use the stairs to go down to the second floor. It was on that walk downstairs that I simply wanted to cry. I felt sad for myself and I felt sad for the six other women and their partners who were there. Infertility is such a crappy condition and 80 percent of the population are fortunate enough to never experience it. But, that leaves the other twenty percent of us, navigating a wave of emotions that wash over you when you least expect it.
I still, two hours later, am fighting back the tears. There's no rationale reason for the tears. I should be happy that I have the resources to get help from one of the best medical facilities in the country. Infertility beats women down. It takes some of their life and soul from them. I started this blog to reverse that trend. Providing support and a friendly voice to others in hopes that they will come out on the other side, whole in spirit.
What I did get out of today's orientation is that maybe it is time to join a support group. As much as online support is terrific, there is something to be said for simply being with others who have the same experience and getting a chance to share your emotions. But, it is a tough balance. I don't want my life to be all about infertility and the pursuit of a baby. There is so much more. If we are always waiting for the destination, we aren't enjoying the ride.
Maybe it is time to go outside and appreciate the beauty of a spring day and the promise of greener horizons.
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