Fifty Days to Undo Tired

First of all I want to say thanks to everyone who commented on Facebook, Twitter and here with their suggestions and encouragement on how to get my energy back.   Just getting my thoughts out there [being the extroverted thinker I am] is helping to crystallize in my mind what’s important to me and realistically what I can focus on.

Starting yesterday I decided to go on my Fifty Days campaign [actually fifty-six to my 45^th birthday].  I owed it to myself to spend the next Fifty Days taking better care of me and see what improvements would result.

Yesterday I benchmarked my weight, and I am actually going to put it in print [encouraged by @DonorDiva’s willingness to put it out there].  My 5’7” frame carries a whopping 168 pounds.  My BMI is definitely in the overweight range of 27.   I was trying to figure out what happened as I lost all my pregnancy weight and started the year at 163, but if I look at my Withings dashboard it seems that each month, starting in May another couple pounds came my way.  I have no real explanation except that a variety of cooties and muscle aches kept me from exercising as much.

I am tracking what I eat at www.myfitnesspal.com .  With their smartphone support, it makes it much easier to track as the day goes along.    Essentially I am trying to do my own personal training right now.  I’ve worked with trainers a lot over the years [and have almost always seen results from it], but I feel like I need to earn my way back to a trainer.  That is should be a reward when I am serious about it.   I am also considering trying Sistas of Strength, an online program one of my Twitter mama friends has.  I’ve been traveling a bit for work, so I like the portability aspect of taking the program with me.

I wish I could be as disciplined as an old high school friend of mine who goes to bed at 930 every night, but I would never get anything done.   I’m compromising and trying to get lights out by 11.  Even with an early morning Squeaky wake up, I stand a better chance of having had enough sleep.

After a rousing toddler tantrum at dinner tonight, I was cursing my decision to forgo the wine during the week.  That chilled bottle of sauvignon blanc was calling my name…but I resisted.  Willpower…need to learn how to have it.

Fifty Shades of Tired

When I start to blame my lack of blogging on working, I stop myself as I know stay at home moms who are having just as much trouble as I am in keeping their blogs up.      The problem is that once the kid is in bed, there is just so much left to do and no energy to do it.     I use my reserves to cook dinner, pay bills or walk the dog.   On the nights where there is nothing left I simply veg in front of the television.  And, there is a lot of couch potato action these days.   

I never was a couch potato, but motherhood has zapped something from me.   About January I went to get a physical because I couldn’t stand not feeling like myself any more.   I appreciate that my male doctor heard me out.   Being a parent, he made some suggestions that helped such as “turn off the baby monitor”.   F’s room is close enough that if he is truly upset we will hear him.   In the morning as we all start to wake his babble is unmistakable.  He also told me what I already knew….exercise, it does a body good.  Easier said than done, which is why the dog is also five pounds overweight as I write this.

My doctor ordered all the standard tests—thyroid, vitamin D [super low].  I went back to acupuncture, took my vitamins and I did start to sleep through the night again.  Yet, six months later I am still tired, not exercising and not blogging.   Though, I can tell you about the season finale of The Bachelorette [weakest season ever].  

How do I get over this hump?   Is it a physical block or a mental block?   Or, is it all connected?  This is where I am calling on my extended mom community out there.    How are you feeling these days?  Are you getting enough sleep?  Do you feel normal again?  

In re-reading this post a day later, I sound like I am whining…and maybe I am, but I just want to be a strong, athletic woman again and not the reigning champion of couch bowling.