Who would have thought that I would have waited 14 weeks to blog again about this pregnancy? In some ways my quietness is a bit of a backlash to being so public last time. But, the real reason was that I had a new job.
As much as I like what Sheryl Sandberg has to say with Lean In, there’s also reality. After the friend and colleague who hired me at my new job was let go, I felt a bit vulnerable. I waited until the 13 week mark before I told them, and I have to say it went well. In fact I almost wished I had told them earlier because it might have made the first trimester more bearable.
That’s another reason I didn’t write. I didn’t want to sound ungrateful. I remember being part of the infertility community and reading the complaints from the newly pregnant. I longed to have morning sickness. Well, I’ve had it and it is overrated. For me it wasn’t morning sickness, it was all-day misery. I questioned the wisdom of this last round of treatment—did I really think I was up for another pregnancy?
And, if I’m really being honest, it has taken me this long to feel comfortable about having twins. Being an only child, having more than one was always a stretch for me. Did I ever think I’d be the mother of three? Not in my wildest dreams. How did we end up with twins? We put in two “perfect embryos”. You have to understand the math and logic behind IVF. As I talked about in my previous blog, the frozen embryo process is far from perfect. We had four embryos frozen and only two survived.
Even with the phenomenal fresh success rate our clinic has, their frozen success rate is average. You have a 50% chance that you will be successful…thus one out of two should survive. The likelihood of twins is 30%, which meant we had a 15% chance of having twins. And, if you do have twins, almost 30% don’t make it past the first trimester. This was my experience last time when I lost F’s twin at 11 weeks.
But, here I am. Twenty weeks pregnant with twins. And, I’m starting to feel normal again. I’ve returned to working out and have more energy to hang with Mr. F. I’m keeping an eye on my blood pressure and hoping that the preeclampsia will stay away and I’ll make it full term with these little ones.
And, now I know why I have two…. I’m blessed with the unmatched pair, we have a boy and a girl on the way! I was all prepared to have an all-male hockey dynasty, but now I may have a little Cammie Granato too!
Thanks again for all the love and support along the way….