Monday, October 4, 2010

And then there was one

We knew it was a possibility, but we truly were starting to believe it wouldn't happen to us. It seems there is this thing called "Vanishing Twin Syndrome" [and I've linked to an informative article on the subject].

I went to my final u/s for Oregon today, before we were to be officially released to our OB, and it didn't quite go as planned. In fact, I didn't even take Clay with me as I thought it would be innocuous. But, I thought it strange when the u/s tech decided to do an internal u/s instead of the belly. And, even my untrained eye, could tell that things weren't quite right. Maybe because one u/s picture had a heartbeat line and the other was a bit flat was a clue. Or, it was that Baby B just didn't look like the right shape.

Baby A--also known as #3 was fine. He's almost 23mm, heartbeat of 156 and measuring right about 9 weeks 3 days.

Baby B stopped growing sometime last week and no longer had a heartbeat. So, what does this all mean? The theory is that Baby A should be fine and continue to grow as babies will do. I may or may not experience any symptoms with the loss of Baby B. I think the larger issue to wrestle with is my own fears. To say that I am not freaked out would be a lie, yet I know for Baby A I just need to be zen with it. I have said all along through this process that we are meant to have the child we are meant to have.

All I can ask right now is that #3 stay safe for another 30 weeks because there are a lot of folks waiting to meet you, especially your Aunt Gigi who was at today's appointment and got to see your heartbeat. She got a little bit more than she expected, but I think she would agree it was worth it to see you on the screen.


  1. hi Vanessa, thanks for being brave enough to share your news with us, even though you must be feeling terribly sad and shocked. I am sending you a lot of love and hugs and wishing for wellness for you and the baby. stay well xxxx carol, mill valley

  2. i am so sorry about baby B :( I wish that you didn't have to go through this and could just enjoy the fact that baby A is doing well...sending you lots of love and hugs. -t

  3. Oh Vanessa, I'm so sorry. Sending sticky thoughts to #3, and loving thoughts to baby B.


  4. I'm so sorry to read this. Please know I'm thinking of you and sending sticky, healthy energy to #3.

  5. Vanessa,

    So sorry to hear the news, but praying for you and for Baby A.


  6. Oh I am so sorry. Praying that baby A continues to thrive and grow.