Monday, October 4, 2010

And then there was one

We knew it was a possibility, but we truly were starting to believe it wouldn't happen to us. It seems there is this thing called "Vanishing Twin Syndrome" [and I've linked to an informative article on the subject].

I went to my final u/s for Oregon today, before we were to be officially released to our OB, and it didn't quite go as planned. In fact, I didn't even take Clay with me as I thought it would be innocuous. But, I thought it strange when the u/s tech decided to do an internal u/s instead of the belly. And, even my untrained eye, could tell that things weren't quite right. Maybe because one u/s picture had a heartbeat line and the other was a bit flat was a clue. Or, it was that Baby B just didn't look like the right shape.

Baby A--also known as #3 was fine. He's almost 23mm, heartbeat of 156 and measuring right about 9 weeks 3 days.

Baby B stopped growing sometime last week and no longer had a heartbeat. So, what does this all mean? The theory is that Baby A should be fine and continue to grow as babies will do. I may or may not experience any symptoms with the loss of Baby B. I think the larger issue to wrestle with is my own fears. To say that I am not freaked out would be a lie, yet I know for Baby A I just need to be zen with it. I have said all along through this process that we are meant to have the child we are meant to have.

All I can ask right now is that #3 stay safe for another 30 weeks because there are a lot of folks waiting to meet you, especially your Aunt Gigi who was at today's appointment and got to see your heartbeat. She got a little bit more than she expected, but I think she would agree it was worth it to see you on the screen.

6 comments:

  1. hi Vanessa, thanks for being brave enough to share your news with us, even though you must be feeling terribly sad and shocked. I am sending you a lot of love and hugs and wishing for wellness for you and the baby. stay well xxxx carol, mill valley

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  2. i am so sorry about baby B :( I wish that you didn't have to go through this and could just enjoy the fact that baby A is doing well...sending you lots of love and hugs. -t

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  3. Oh Vanessa, I'm so sorry. Sending sticky thoughts to #3, and loving thoughts to baby B.

    Hugs.

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  4. I'm so sorry to read this. Please know I'm thinking of you and sending sticky, healthy energy to #3.

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  5. Vanessa,

    So sorry to hear the news, but praying for you and for Baby A.

    Roger

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  6. Oh I am so sorry. Praying that baby A continues to thrive and grow.

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