I Believe

The month slipped by in a blink of an eye.   Even though Franklin will never remember this Christmas, his parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles will.   He did awesome with his first Santa photo--it may be the only one he ever smiles for, but that's okay as I know that photo sent a lot of joy across the land.

I bought a $6 dollar shirt at Target this season in my favorite color, purple, and on the front in rhinestones, it said, "Believe."   Nothing has been more true for me over the last couple years.   I have to admit that I often had trouble keeping the faith that it would all work out, but Clay has been unwavering in his belief that we would someday be parents.  That is what often makes a good partnership--the ability to stabilize the boat for each other during turbulent times.   Even though the first year of parenting is filled with joyful moments, there are also moments of stress, insecurity and frustration.   It has become clear to both of us that when the waters are rocky, we truly need to find our way back to center.   When the two of us are in synch, it is much easier to ride the waves.


Franklin turned 8 months old yesterday.  As far as 2011 is concerned, we spent more time with Franklin as part of our life than we did without him.   Most days are a blast as we seem to have a talkative extrovert on our hands [can't imagine where he gets that from].  Our routine only gets disrupted when Franklin gets a cold, which seems to be every three weeks right now.    What we are hoping for 2012 is that Mom and Dad build up some immunity and not get sick every time the little guy does.

8 Months--Catching the Doggie

 

 

 

 

 

This coming year is going to be an interesting one as I navigate the waters as a working mom. Again, as painful as getting laid off while on maternity leave was, I am grateful for the things I learned about myself  during the last four months.  I have held on to the belief that I would end up in the right place at the right time--and, ultimately, the best choice for the family.   Because that's the difference between this year and last, my choices used to be about what was right for me.  Now it's about what is right for all of us.   It's a new trick for an old dog to learn.

Tell Me Another Dad, That's Funny!

I wish for all of you during 2012 is a peaceful and healthy year.  Be kind to each other and cherish each day. Thanks for following along.

Finally a November with a Happy Ending

"Thankful V finally had a happy November."   Posted on my husband's Facebook wall.  I had been writing a gratitude status every day, but I forgot the last day.   Yet, he knew exactly what to write.

November had come to be my least favorite month.   In 1998 I discovered my first husband wasn't able to have kids.  In 2001 I decided I couldn't be married to him in any more.  In 2003 I had my first horrible post-divorce break up.  In 2007 I had my first miscarriage.   In 2008 a failed IVF.     All of these events occurred in November.

In fact I had started to dislike Thanksgiving and anything to do with it.  Last year started the turnaround, however, for my coming to terms with the month of November.   I held my breath for the entire month of November, hoping that my pregnancy would hold and that the next November would truly be different.

Guess what?  It was.   Throughout this journey I have always tried to hold on to the belief that we travel the path we are supposed to.   It may not always be a direct route but ultimately you'll be exactly where you are supposed to be.   Without the breakups and the miscarriages of the past, there would be no Franklin.

This Thanksgiving was everything I wanted it to be.  It wouldn't have mattered if the turkey had burned or the dog ate the pumpkin pie--all that mattered was who was sitting at the table.   I am so very thankful for the science and magic that brought Franklin into this world.   He's a joyful boy who reminds me every day how lucky I am to be his mom.

My little guy had his first bite of turkey that night.  If he had asked to eat his pumpkin pie first, I would have let him...it's Thanksgiving after all.

The Reflection of Joy

It hasn't been the easiest year:  a pregnancy that became complicated, a fussy baby for many weeks and then unemployment.   All of this, of course, layered with sleep deprivation and hormones.   Yet, when I look at the picture below, I can't see a single sign of any of it.   All I see is a happy baby and a woman filled with joy.

It's taken nearly six months, but I have finally started to embrace motherhood.  For some women it is quite easy to give birth and take on the role.   I don't know if it was my personality or my age--or maybe both that prevented me from having that initial "this is the best thing ever moment".   Because of the infertility, we spent a lot of time and money to get the little guy.  Yet, in those first few weeks, all I could think was "what had I done".  I had turned a perfectly good life upside down for a screaming baby and being trapped 24 x7.

It's possible that I had some postpartum issues, but I didn't want to turn to medication.  I am very thankful for a friend, who had suffered from it, who called me regularly to make sure that I had an outlet to vent and feel safe talking about what I was thinking.  She came to visit for a weekend, and I know she gave the husband some advice on making sure that I had plenty of time to get away when he wasn't working.

He's also the husband that made sure I went last week to the BlogHer Writer's Conference in New York City.   It was nice to get away, but what I felt good about was that I wasn't escaping from my life.  Instead, I was simply trying to enhance it--and every time I saw a baby I couldn't wait to get home to mine.   Then, tonight as I was telling F's favorite bedtime story,  I was simply overcome with emotion and gratitude.  Looking at that picture I finally saw what my heart had been telling me.  I'm am F's mom and nothing is ever going to change that--this is the life I have dreamed of.

I  had some clarity about where I wanted to take this blog at the writer's conference.  I spoke to some fabulous women who encouraged me to keep writing about motherhood after infertility.  It has its own special challenges ranging from guilt to disclosure issues.  I promise to still occasionally post about Mr. F, but if you want to keep up to date on the little guy, feel free to friend me on Facebook where the family updates will be more regular.
 
I also want to give credit to the photographer at Santana Row, Deborah Nagai.  She did a great job in a high volume time getting the right moment--a moment I will cherish for a long time.

Whoa....5 Months

The dog is still winning, but Franklin is trying to catch up. It is amazing how fast the time is going. This month has brought a few milestones---some good, some bad.

We experienced our first cold. It took almost three weeks for the snuffles and cough to go away. Though the doctor said he was the happiest sick baby he'd seen. And, that really is the difference. Franklin, has gone from being 'the Fusster' to being the 'the Happster'. Lots of smiles...most of the fussing comes from interrupting his feedings or just being undernapped.

We tried our first solid last week--rice cereal. What a mess. However, the boy is ready for it. He looks longingly whenever Clay and I are eating in front of him. He is also capable of holding his own bottle--which comes in handy when mom wants to reach for her own glass of wine during happy hour.

I wish I could post a picture of a party I had last Saturday...there were five of us and our babies. All of us have traveled the path of infertility and come out on the other side--it was magical to see all of us with our dreams come true. Each of us had our own story. However, I won't ever publicly post any pictures of others' kids without prior permission, so you'd have to send me a note to see the photo.

I keep appreciating the extra time I have with Franklin, but I am ready to go back to work--hopefully, the right job is just around the corner.

Four Months Already

Just a quick update on my little Squeaky. He is quickly catching up to his stuffed doggy. I predict by the end of the year he will be just as long. At his most recent doctor's appointment this week he weighed in at 17 lbs 6 oz and 26 1/4" [90th percentile for both]. Needless to say I am getting my workout carrying him up and down our stairs. He is already into 6 months clothes and quickly moving on.

The best news is that we have almost had two straight weeks of sleeping 7 to 7 [give or take a half hour either way]. As I mentioned earlier, we haven't had the easiest road and he was not a baby who liked to sleep in his first two months--now he seems to be making up for lost time. Everybody chooses their method. The one that is working for us is Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. We're not on a tight schedule, but I loosely follow what I would call his pattern. Up for ninety minutes in the morning, then time for the morning nap. I try whenever possible to have the morning nap in the crib as it provides a good base for the rest of the day. We are also sleeping him on his stomach, with the blessing of two doctors. It works for us and has allowed us to get rid of the swaddle. Now that he is sleeping more, he truly is a happy boy. If he is fussing, he is either tired or hungry.




I am going to enjoy these moments as teething appears to be on the way, and I hear that is a total disruptor of schedules. I am also open to any tips and tricks for teething.

I am still looking for work. It's hard as this extra leave time wasn't planned for, but I just have to believe that I was given this break to appreciate what I tried so hard for...that irresistible face that makes me smile.

Franklin's First 3 Months

I haven't been blogging because....I honestly haven't figured out where my blog is going. But, I appreciate all of you who have followed me through this journey, so I thought I'd share the first 90 days.

This digital scrapbook generated with Smilebox

I'll be the first to admit that it hasn't been easy. True to what everybody says, it does get easier and now that my little guy is 15 weeks old, we are starting to get in a bit of a groove. Some nights he actually sleeps 6-7 hours. He tends to now only fuss when he is hungry or overtired [which we try to avoid]. Most importantly, I think I have finally started to embrace motherhood. Yes, I miss our dinners out and trips to the Wine Country are a distant memory, but they simply can't replace the smile I get every morning when Franklin and I are having our first moments of the day.

I have been fortunate to have Clay home for the last four weeks which gave me some time to regroup. I started to play ice hockey again. After a year hiatus from real exercise, it felt so good to get out there and sweat, with no regards to what my heart rate was. I still have some big things ahead such as figuring out how to balance motherhood and a career. And thanks to a company relocation, I am having to look for a new job in the midst of all of this.

But, it doesn't matter, after two bouts of infertility spanning over a decade, I now am the mother of a beautiful little boy and that is all that matters.

A Moment of Quiet

I can't remember the last time I enjoyed the quiet, peacefulness of my house. The last month has been one of the most chaotic, challenging times of my life. Right now the dog is sleeping, the baby is snoring and the husband is playing hockey--leaving me a minute to reflect and write about the last step of the pregnancy journey. Most of the time I am trying to sleep in every extra second, but last night I got a total of six hours sleep and that makes all the difference in the world.

When we last left off, I was headed to the hospital for an induction. There was no reason to think that the induction wouldn't work. I was dilated and effaced before I got there, but even the last step had to be a bit more complicated. Originally, we were supposed to be at the hospital at 6am, but they called at 5am to tell us that they weren't ready for us. We tried to go back to sleep for awhile, but it's like Christmas morning and the excitement prevents you from closing your eyes. Around 8am they called and said they were ready for us. We said we'd be there in an hour as we still hadn't eaten breakfast. The advice from our doula was to eat as big of meal as possible beforehand as I wouldn't know when I'd get my next meal.

Even though I wanted a natural childbirth, I wasn't planning to do it without the help of some medication. I was striving to be "relaxed but present" as this might be the only time I experience childbirth. About an hour and a half after being checked into the hospital, they started the Pitocin--which should start the labor going. I was a bit locked into bed as they were doing full-fledged monitoring on me as the blood pressure was still a risk.

After a couple of hours, the doctor came in and broke my water. I didn't think that was too bad until I went and sat on a birthing ball. Let's just say there was a lot of gushing over the next couple of hours--not a feeling I am in any hurry to repeat again. About three hours into the labor, the real contractions began. It was at this point we had our doula come in. I have no doubt that if we had tried to do this on our own, we would have had a very different experience.

The doula offered a lot of different options for managing the pain. At this point I still hadn't taken any pain medications. We were working through it with massage, positions and breathing. We even tried the shower--some people love being in water, but that one wasn't for me. I finally had to add some pain meds to the mix. I can honestly say that labor pain is unlike anything else I have ever experienced. OUCH! I was making progress, but it was slowing down. I was at 7cm and it was almost 730pm. I had been at this for nine hours at this point.

It was also time for the epidural. I waited as long as I could, but the pain was unbearable. The relief from the epidural was almost instantaneous, but it did nothing for my labor. I then started to second guess the pain meds, wondering if I should have held off? Every hour we would check my cervix and no more progress, we even napped for a bit. Finally about midnight, the nurse and the doula came to me and said that we needed to consider a c-section. As near as the nurse could tell, the baby's head wasn't in a position to go through the birth canal. The doula felt that she had used all her tricks to change position. It was also at this point that we realized that my epidural had pulled out and my pain levels were almost at a10 level again. It didn't take much convincing on my part to have the doctor be called in for the c-section.

I was disappointed that I wouldn't have the natural childbirth, but I was grateful to have experienced as much of it that I did. I know I gave it my best shot and the time had come to do what was best for baby. The c-section is a weird experience as they give you a spinal tap, so that you can't feel it but are awake through it. It's just bizarre to have people cutting you up while you are fully conscious. At 140am, our little defenseman was born. We heard him before we saw him as his cry was loud and clear as he came out.



We got what we asked for--a healthy baby boy who weighed 8 pounds, three ounces and was 20 inches long. All ten fingers and ten toes were present and accounted for. It was great having the doula at this point, she was capturing all of it on film while Clay tended to the baby, and she made sure that I was doing okay. It was at this point that the drugs and the hormones just make you shake, and you just can't stop for the next couple of hours.

Once I was sewn up, I was off to recovery and finally able to bring my baby to my chest. He was able to latch on right away. Now I know everyone is wondering where my teary, he's finally here moment was. I didn't have it during the delivery. And, I didn't have it for the next four days.

I finally cried when we were in the elevator going home. After many years of struggling, I was finally going home with a baby--our time had come to be parents.

Coming Soon

In theory, this is my last day being pregnant-- 39 weeks and 2 days. Given some of the complications of this pregnancy, we are opting to induce tomorrow. It wasn't an easy decision as my preference would have been to let nature take its course and a May baby sounded great.

Instead, in the middle of the royal hubbub tomorrow, we'll be at the hospital hoping for a labor that comes easily and being able to avoid a c-section. I wish I was able to at this point write the heartfelt letter I'd like to about this journey, but that's going to have to wait until I have my full vision back.

My last paragraph is really a tribute to all the gals [and guys] I know who are still struggling to complete their journeys--whether they are still trying to conceive, waiting for adoption or making the decision to be childfree. This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. Infertility is not a glamorous disease--it's not life threatening, so it is hard to raise support and money for it. It is, however, life debilitating-- lots of tears, depression and general malaise. Often, there are very painful losses involved. If you know someone who is struggling, lend them some support or direct them to www.resolve.org. I can't say enough about how wonderful the online community is about helping each other make it through this tough time.

Thank you all for sharing this journey with me and for following my story. We couldn't have done it without you.

Please, Make It A Double

Right now, I want a double vodka martini. At least then, I might have an explanation for why I have been seeing two of everything for the last 72 hours.

It all started on Thursday when I was feeling some sinus pressure. I didn't think much of it, except that it was annoying. Then, on Friday, I felt off--a little lightheaded and concerned enough that I had Clay drive me to the doctor. Then, late on Friday night, I looked toward the kitchen and saw two Clays....now if one wasn't enough to handle! I didn't think too much about it and assumed I'd wake up in the morning with the world looking alright.

That wasn't the case. Since Saturday, my vision has been a mess. I am seeing double when I look straight ahead. I had finally resigned myself to bed rest [and had survived the week thanks to Netflix streaming and a bunch of hockey playoffs], but now looking at any type of screen is a challenge. For the first couple of days I could use the computer with ease, but now I have to use my peripheral vision to type.

And, yes, I have called the doctors. My ob says as long as my blood pressure is in check--it just appears to be another type of swelling. I called the eye doctor this morning--he didn't want to see me. He said that tired, hormones, blood sugar, blood pressure, etc... were probably having an effect. None of it is very satisfying answers.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't deal with a health crisis very well. My brain always goes to the worst--what if this doesn't reverse? However, I think that is the challenge in front of me at the moment. I need to just have some peace about this and try to stick with the go forward plan, which is to have this baby in due time and have faith that everything will work itself out.

Meanwhile, I still feel incredibly lucky for all the friends and family I have. Hopefully, I don't forget anybody...but the last week you continue to amaze me with your kindness. LF for keeping me company. JS for helping me finish organizing the nursery. KC for both a lovely dinner and then going to BBB for those extras you thought the nursery needed. NK for the much needed In n Out fix plus babysitting me. KM for sending me a box of clothes, so that I don't freak out about not having the right clothes for #3 to wear. Mom for everything..shopping, fixing Easter dinner, more grocery shopping and more dinner fixing.

Since the Easter Bunny forgot to bring me #3, I can only hope he is on his way soon.

Place Your Bets

I looked for an online baby due date pool, and I couldn't really find one that was easy for folks to use. So, feel free to leave your guess here on the blog or on my Facebook page.

Here are the facts.

• Today I am 38 weeks pregnant--wow, who would have guessed.
• As mentioned in post below, doctor is concerned about my health and wants to talk about possibly inducing. Next doctor's appointment is Tuesday, April 26th.
• Due date is May 4th.
• I am already dilated and effaced.
• I have started to work with my acupuncturist to start a "natural" induction process.
• This is the last day to have an Aries versus a Taurus.

Post day and time of day, weight and height. I promise the winner of the pool will get something fun.

House Arrest

My Type A personality finally got the best of me. Today was my last day of work, so I was fast and furiously trying to get everything done before I went to my weekly doctor's visit. First we did the weekly heartrate monitoring and that was great, #3 is definitely very active.

Then, we went and took my blood pressure--it hit an all-time high of 152/100. The issue with this is that it can be a sign of pre-eclampsia, which is a very dangerous condition for pregnant women. Other signs include swelling...and anybody who has been around me for the last couple of weeks have seen my huge feet and ankles [maybe I'll share a picture]. I am still waiting to hear about lab results--but I am assuming no news is good news. The doctor was ready to send me to the hospital for monitoring, but she wanted to take my blood pressure a second time after I was on my side for awhile. The good news is that twenty minutes later it was down to 130/84. But, it is clear that I need to take it easy.

So, I am now on house arrest...me, the couch and the Zamboni for the next couple of weeks. I am bummed in the sense that I was looking forward to having a couple weeks to finish getting the house ready--"nesting". But, I know that all that matters at this moment in time is keeping #3 safe.

My due date is May 4th and that is starting to look suspect. My other stats today... I was 2-3cm dilated and already 50% effaced, so I do believe that Clay and I need to be ready for anything. And, I think we are.

April Showers

Actually they were March showers, but it took awhile to get all the pieces together for this post. I had two magnificent baby showers--we opted to split them up to be more intimate. I apologize in advance if someone felt slighted.

I still find it hard to believe that I actually had a baby shower. A day doesn't go by [even with my swollen feet and expanding belly] when I don't take a deep breath and give thanks for being just weeks away from the new arrival.

No more words today...just pictures.

My friend Jenn made 24 individual block cakes--filled with coconut cream frosting. She cut all the lettering, etc by hand. The favors were herbs with the tag, "Grow with the Fiske Family".

Jenn and I

Julie, co-hostess, and shower giver extraordinaire

There's a great bib on the table, it says "Star of Mommy's Blog". The favors were Nancy's homemade truffles in these cute baby bottle boxes.

My mom and the future Aunt Nancy who threw a lovely brunch.


My mother-in-law and sister-in-law flew in from Minnesota.

I could post so many more pictures. Julie got some terrific invitations and decorations from serendipitydesignco.com [they can be found on Etsy]. They were baby bottle Bellinis [which I heard were delicious]. The first venue was at a terrific new wine bar in Los Gatos called Enoteca La Storia. There were so many beautiful, cute and thoughtful gifts.

Thank you all for sharing in the celebration.

Time is Flying

The big day is going to be here before I know it, and I am starting to have those feelings of not being prepared. I can just hope that little #3 hangs tight and doesn't come early.

To that point, Monday marked the first day of weekly NST testing. Nothing is wrong, but my ob Dr. S understands that I am a bit higher risk and wants to make sure that this journey has a happy ending. My first NST was in the morning, which isn't an ideal time as #3 tends to be quiet in the morning and a large part of the test requires that the baby be active. It took ringing a loud alarm to get him moving--hopefully this isn't a preview of school mornings to come. This next week I am going to try it at 4pm when I know that he is moving around down there.

I also had an unremarkable ob visit at that time, except for being referred to a specialist for a problem that is "a pain in the butt." Every pregnant woman seems to have one symptom that makes her life a little difficult. I know a lot of gals who are suffering from reflux--thankfully I am not one of them as I like to eat. I'll take the back end problem even as uncomfortable as it may be.

Tuesday night we went to our first childbirth prep class. The husband was a good sport, given that he had to give up a SJ Sharks game that night. Evidently the key mantra to childbirth is "Relaxation=Dilation". I am sure that is easier said than done. I do not plan to do natural childbirth--my pain tolerance is low, but I do hope to avoid a c-section. With our doula, we'll get started soon on writing a birth plan.

Part of the reason I am behind on blogging this week is that I went for one last girls' weekend. It was a great weekend and I know the gals enjoyed spending some time with the pregnant mama. I wanted them to feel him kick, but he never seemed to be good at putting on a show when demanded. I really appreciate their support in my life and they are going to be some fantastic aunties!

Sunset at Pismo Beach

The Feeling of Happiness

Upfront I am going to warn my infertile friends who are still trying and in midst of their own pain that they may want to skip this one, but I hope they keep reading.

As I drove this morning to pick up breakfast and the sun was shining for the first time in days, I was smiling to myself. I have to say that feeling happy is not an unusual occurrence these days. Yet, I think back to last couple of years and those moments were not as frequent. When trying to have a child becomes a full-time battle, the emotional output simply bankrupts you.

Having gone through the fight to have a child twice, I have seen many dark times. I am fairly certain that the first time I was clinically depressed--and undiagnosed. The second time has been easier in the sense that I at least felt I wasn't alone in the battle and had a loving partner who was sharing the struggle with me.

On one hand I am grateful for the strength that infertility has given us as a couple. Instead of having a child just after our first year of marriage, we have had four years to build our foundation. Little #3 is going to be coming into a home filled with two parents who are confident in their love and ability to work through trials and tribulations.

What I can't take back from these last four years is all the angst and unrest over trying to have a child. I wish I had lightened up and just enjoyed our time together more--and stopped worrying about what was next. It is what it is. And yet, it only makes me appreciate so much more the sweetness of this time. I am so thankful for our persistence in having a child. I wouldn't trade away a minute of this pregnancy--to feel that little guy kicking away in my belly is priceless.

Don't get me wrong. I am not going to breathe easy until this little guy is delivered to the world, but that is not going to stop me from enjoying these moments of happiness. They've been a long time in coming.

Babymoons and Bumps

It's official, we are in the third trimester and we have less than 12 weeks to go. Clay and I took our last trip together on an airplane as unencumbered adults. It was weird to think that on our flight coming home that it was the last one we would take without car seats, strollers and all the gear for a little person.

I think I have been in a bit of denial about how pregnant I look. Just a glimpse at this picture, plus confirmation from the OB today that my fundal height is 32cm--there's no denying I am pregnant. That said, the styles of clothes today does it make it hard to tell at times if a woman is just carrying a child or a couple extra pounds. According to my scale, I've gained 23 pounds so far. It still puts me in good range to stay under 35 pounds for the pregnancy which is the goal.

The OB visits have all been good news. I passed my gestational diabetes test, which meant no restricted diets. Phew! I struggle to eat veggies and love fruit, so any sugar restrictions would have been challenging. My iron level was a bit low, so I have added a supplement. In two weeks, we will actually start weekly fetal non-stress tests. I have blood clotting gene, MTFHR, and in some cases, it can cause the placenta to prematurely age. We went off blood thinners in December and agreed that as we got closer, we would make sure there was no resulting placenta issues. I still can't say enough about Dr. S and how much he cares that we have as relaxing of a pregnancy as possible.

It is often hard to justify the expense of a babymoon with all the coming expenses plus the former IF expenses, but I am really glad we did. We got lucky in that there were some good vacation packages and we were able to get away. Even though it wasn't the warm weather vacation that I was used to [aka lots of rum cocktails and baking in the sun], I really appreciated getting some time away with Clay. The "craziest" thing I did was go snorkeling. The swim part of that was fine--the bloody nose I got afterwards, not so much. We started to talk about names [sorry not disclosing that topic] and future family vacations.

For those who remember me talking about my 'carpool' buddies on this road, tomorrow I go to the first baby shower for one of them. I am so excited for her. It has been delightful to share the joy of this journey with her. She is also having a boy [as well as my other carpool buddy].

Time for me to put my swollen ankles up.

Moving right along

I knew that once the holidays had been closed out it would be time to get into full gear on the baby planning. We are getting close to the home stretch. In just a couple of weeks I will be in the third trimester--right now I am 26.5 weeks. I am still feeling relatively good, though I am starting to get tired again in the late afternoons and evening. My workout routine is still a yoga class and a weight training session, plus plenty of dog walks every week.

And, I can't say enough about Harmony which is a great resource for expecting and new moms. In addition to offering a great selection of yoga classes, they also do Meet the Doula every month. Now I hadn't really been considering a doula, but when my sister-in-law recommended it after the birth of her third child, I decided to look into it. The benefits of a doula are many, especially if you are looking to either go natural or at least avoid a c-section. If you want to meet our doula, check Deidre out here. If you are thinking about a doula, keep in mind that the popular ones are booked two-three months out.

We have been trying to figure our way through all the gear. The book, Baby Bargains, has been helpful as well as advice from all the moms out there. We did finally order our crib and settle on a bedding theme.
This is Summersalt's Woof Woof and below is Bonavita's Metro Collection.

Right now I am trying to finish registering and sort through the various options for high chairs, strollers and bouncy seats. As overwhelming as it all is, I can't even begin to express how happy I am to be at this point. I still can't go to the baby store without tearing up at least once and feeling very grateful to finally be close to motherhood.

Another Peek

Happy New Year Everyone!

This week's big event was going to get a fetal echocardiogram. Evidently some studies have shown that IVF babies have a higher likelihood of defects, so they want to get an earlier look at the heart. I am happy to report that everything looked great.

In addition to the heart, they looked at other parts. I have to say that I find the u/s technology so cool. We could see almost every bone in the spinal cord. And, yes, we did ask the tech to reconfirm that it was definitely a boy. [And, according to my husband, is exemplified by the early nose picking in the above picture.] Right now they estimate that #3 weighs about a pound. That does not explain the other 16 pounds I have gained--except for the increased bra size, that must be good for at least a couple other pounds.

I am finally starting to feel the kicks and movements. At the ultrasound this week, I could feel #3 move between when the tech did the ultrasound and the doctor came in for the second look. Sure enough, #3 had moved positions considerably--making it harder for the doctor to take a look. He seems to do that a lot at appointments.

One of the downsides of getting pregnant after a long bout of infertility is that it takes you awhile to truly believe it's real. This denial means that you don't get on top of your planning as early as you should. For instance, I almost missed signing up for childbirth prep classes before my due date. The clinic warned me that they fill up fast, and indeed they do!

Here's to an eventful 2011! Wishing everyone the year they desire!